LW81 For Hyper Cube

Nissan Cube To Make Cameo Appearance In Cars 2

2009-04-17T07:50:00.000-07:00

Hollywood, CA - The good folks at Nissan have announced that the Nissan Cube will make a cameo appearance in the new Cars 2 movie coming out this summer. "We're excited to partner with Pixar," Said Jennifer Como, Nissan spokesperson, "The Cube looks so good in front of the camera."

This will be the first time a car will cameo in an animated movie. No word on what colour or trim level the Cube will be. "I'm still deciding 'what to wear'." said the Cube, grinning from headlight to headlight, "I just hope Lightning doesn't get jealous when Sally lays her headlights on me."

"I remember watching the first Cars movie and thinking about taking a road trip to Radiator Springs." the Cube continued, "Now I'll have the chance to meet the gang, maybe get my tires rotated by Guido. He's so quick; it's awesome to watch."

Hot off it's first appearance in the TV show, Heroes, the cool and trendy car will surely fill theatres for its big screen debut.

Both Nissan and Pixar won't reveal what scene the Cube will appear in but they guarantee it will be a fantastic introduction to the world of Cube.

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Slow Car Sales Blamed On Nissan Cube

2009-04-16T10:58:00.000-07:00

Oakville, ON - Industry experts blame slumping car sales on the new Nissan Cube that's coming out this May. "We thought it was the bad economy that kept people from visiting dealerships," said Johann Theobald, self-proclaimed car expert, "but we realized that people aren't buying vehicles because they're waiting for the Nissan Cube."

A survey taken by Auto Industry specialists revealed people have money to buy cars but they're saving it for the Cube. "It's a beauty and it's worth the wait," said Henry Pollan, as he pushed his rusty clunker down the street, "When I found out the Cube was coming to North America I did whatever I could to keep my old car running." Mr Pollan's car stalls several times a day but he refuses to fix it since he'll be getting a Cube soon.

Industry experts predict auto sales will skyrocket in May. However, only Nissan will have anything to cheer about since they will be the only ones selling cars. "We're so excited about the Cube that we've decided to give away 50 of them to creative people in a Social Media contest." said Zachary Wang, Nissan spokesperson. "Word of mouth seems to be working because our waiting list has a waiting list."

Nissan was worried when that Korean company released its Cube wannabe a few months ago but it turns out that company is furious and frustrated. "We tried to make something similar to the Cube," said Johnny Smith of that Korean company, "we even released it a few months earlier hoping we'd get a head start." Unfortunately, even their contest couldn't spark interest and raise sales.

As the old saying goes, "good things come to those who wait." And the wait will soon be over.

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OPP to Start Using Nissan Cubes for Patrol Cars

2009-04-15T21:03:00.000-07:00

Orillia, ON – The Assistant to the Chief of Police announced today that the OPP will replace its old cruisers with 50 brand-spanking new Nissan Cubes starting in May. “We have the best technology, the best weapons, the best people,” said Gellarmo, “now we'll have the best and coolest-looking vehicle available.”

Police vehicles are known to be big, cumbersome, and intimidating. But the OPP isn't worried. It has tested a prototype of a Patrol Cube that has met all the criteria. “The Cubes performed better than expected.” said OPP officer, Steven Marchant, “It's roomier than it looks, it handles great, and it makes me look freaking cool.” he continued, trying hard to keep his composure.

The best part of having a Patrol Cube is that it makes arrests a lot easier. “You should see the expressions on the faces of the criminals when we pull up in a Patrol Cube.” said Marchant, “We don't have to go to them anymore, they come to us asking for ride in the backseat.” Marchant mentioned one suspected drug dealer who walked up to the car, looked inside and asked if he could take a ride in the Cube if he led the officers to the drugs. It's easier getting information from happy criminals.

For all you car enthusiasts, Gellarmo can't comment on the modifications that will be done to the Cube but did acknowledge that it will be the fastest street-legal Nissan out there. “Engine modifications are necessary to meet our specifications,” Gellarmo said, “but we won't be touching the exterior or interior of the vehicle. Why mess with such artistic beauty?”

“Being an OPP officer is the best job in the world.” Sergeant Julia Oakfield said, “With perks like these it's no wonder why recruitment numbers have tripled over the last few weeks.” Although there's no evidence that the new Cube has increased enrollment, it's quite the incentive to be able to drive such a work of art.

There's no word on whether other police departments will be using the Patrol Cubes but it looks promising that someday patrol cars will be trendy and cool instead of cumbersome and intimidating.

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If I were a Cube

2009-03-25T17:26:00.001-07:00

This is my cube. Find out which Cube you are at www.hypercube.ca